Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Couch. On fire.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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