i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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