i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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