i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
