butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
