Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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