Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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