My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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