my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
