I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
