I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
