You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Still dying that you shit outside
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
