Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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