Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
420 ftw
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
