it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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