and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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