He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
