so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
