so explain again why im purple
no
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Life is so much better after having sex.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just invented taco cereal.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
