I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
