A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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