I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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