I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
