yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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