oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
