He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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