u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
