...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
