can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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