He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
