Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
