I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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