He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
