is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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