Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
