those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
