Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
