your parents love me but you hate me
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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