I just pynch a tree in the face
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
