Apparently you make a good broom.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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