I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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