She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
