I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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