Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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