Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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