Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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