I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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