Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
