after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He called his prostate his "boner button".
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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