who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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