She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Terrible idea I love it
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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