If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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